Dream Dishes

You want angry? I'll show you ANGRY!

2008-12-03T15:41:00.004+02:00

Down in Madeira Beach, Florida, there's a place that scares me. The Angry Pepper Waterside Smokeshack & Grill is a thrashin' Southern BBQ joint transplanted to...the beach. (Keep in mind that the average age of the locals is about 50, and the place has about 4,000 people living there, so I'm guessing there's a lot of non-local traffic). While you're trying to get your brain around that, take a look at the kind of attitude that's probably shaking up the neighbors over there:

Beef Brisket Sandwich-$8.49
This Texas-style beauty is rich and delicious! Smoked for 12 to 16 hours and then thinly sliced till it melts in your mouth. “You don’t need no teef to eat this beef”

(Try saying that with a straight face.)

Big Ass Smoked Sausage-$8.49
This thing will scare ya! Big as it’s Texas tradition, we take our sausages and lay em in a bath of beer, hot sauce and our own BBQ sauce and let the smoker do it’s work. (So good it’ll make you slap your grandma)

(I don't even know where to go with that...)

Brunswick Stew - $4.99
Made fresh and loaded with pork, chicken, sausage and fresh veggies. One bite and you'll know that this deep rich flavor was hand-crafted by someone that spent alotta time in an Alabama kichen (or was it a prison?)

(Sorry, the parentheses sends my appetite further down the menu...Prison stew. Yum. )

But this is the winner for today:

AP Shrimp- $7.99
Fried tender shrimp served in a bunch o’ ways: Plain, Mild (which is to say: “whimpy”), medium (at least you tried); Angry (Yu da man); or our World famous “Sweet & Nasty” (a combination of sweet and hot that kisses you up front and slaps you in da back of the head at the end)

Where to Eat

2008-11-30T17:05:00.003+02:00

Having some fun this week writing up entries about restaurants and cuisine in various U.S. cities... some trends, some trivia, some history, some tips.

My favorite so far are (just click on the 'Read More' link at the top):
Restaurants in Minneapolis (I wasn't so nice)
Restaurants in Seattle (This was easy. Mostly because I'm jealous.)
and Restaurants in Portland (Simply the most interesting... they've, well, evolved! I can't imagine that happens too often in the restaurant industry.)

Artistic. And How.

2008-11-24T16:41:00.004+02:00

Obviously, a creative and inventive chef makes it pretty easy to pen an attractive menu. The menu created by Executive Chef Charles Zeran over at Four Moons in South Carolina (motto: "Contemporary. Artistic. American") is as imaginative as you can get ... go check out the menu for more. Or better yet, if you live in SC, check this place out and send me pictures!

Our first exhibit, from the "Raw Bites" section of the menu:
“Beer and Pretzels" 10
Dijon and Pretzel Crusted Flash Seared Beef Tenderloin Carpaccio, Petite Basil and Mustard Green Salad, Savory Guinness Stout Ice Cream, Mini Chocolate and Salt Pretzel

I can't even picture that, not to mention imagine what it tastes like. But I think I'd like it. Yeah, I would.

Carolina Caught Scamp Grouper with Grilled Gulf Shrimp and Lacquered Pork Belly 28
Black Trumpet and Hon Shemeji Mushrooms, Grapefruit Gelee, Wakame Seaweed Salad, Pink Grapefruit Chardonnay Reduction, Bacon Shiitake Rice Crispy Crumble.

Let's say that all together now: Bacon Shiitake Rice Crispy Crumble.

Wow.

Telling it like it is

2008-11-19T09:39:00.003+02:00

Anyone can list ingredients. But sometimes the menu descriptions just make you want to trust the place, descriptive or not!

Here's and example from John Egan's Big World Pub & Grill, in Vermont.

Today's Soup
Soup is good here, try some.

Caesar Salad
My Caesar salad is better than your, no it's not, yes it is, and no it's not. Let the debate continue, but mine is the only one available here. We have great anchovies.

Fried Shrimp and Noodles
Three big shrimp (oxymoron) in a light batter on a bed of noodles tossed with spicy peanut sauce. Note: We only use Ocean Garden size 16/20 white shrimp in all our shrimp dishes. No cheap tasteless Tiger shrimp here.

and I like this one...I detest the phrase "cooked to perfection" on a menu. What, they are going to offer you something "a little too pink" or "cooked till it's leather"?

The Burger
Lean ground beef cooked the way you ordered it and served on a Kaiser roll.

...and at the very bottom of the menu:
Check the blackboard for today's choices; order the scallops if we have any

Now that's breakfast!

2008-11-16T14:37:00.003+02:00

Today's entry is from Big Mamma's Boy restaurant in Manitoba. Their brunch menu offers the most intense description of hash I've ever seen. I had to loosen by belt just to read it...

Manitoba Farmer Sausage Hash
Manitoba farmer's sausage with onions, potatoes, carrots, roasted red peppers and red wine, topped with 2 over-easy eggs, and organic potatoes topped with Hewitt's goat's milk yogurt. Served with sourdough toast and homemade jam.

Attitude from New Zealand

2008-11-13T17:37:00.003+02:00

New Zealand's Mustang Saloon and Grill's online menu with its oh-so-readable black-on-maroon motif (there's a theme here...hang on) gives you the feeling that if you take longer and 16 seconds to order, the Kiwi waitress will kick you in the shins and walk away disgusted. Let's start with appetizers:

Basket “O” Fries – if you need a description of this…well…hmmm $5
Onion Rings – Ah….read above description. $6
Chips and Fresh Salsa – you get the picture… $3

Wait, here's one that makes up for all those (Mmmm. I'm making this tonight):

Firecracker Broccoli – Crunchy Broccoli florets tossed in a Hoisin sauce, glazed with chili and almonds. Yum! $6

Sigh:

Mushroom Swiss Burger – kinda obvious what’s on this one $12

Not sure how many they are going to sell, but at least they're honest:

Veggie Burger – for a vege patty, this one is damn good. $11

Pancakes at the Pescado

2008-11-12T16:50:00.006+02:00

Our very first entry comes from the Happy Pescado, on 3rd Street in San Mateo. Here's how they list their pancake options:

HALF HUNGRY Three pancakes...just enough to get ya going.
HUNGRY Five pancakes. Shhhh, stomach.
ABOUT TO BITE THE TABLE 3 pancakes, 2 eggs, 3 strips of bacon or sausage. Easy, Termite.

Under the "Lighter Fare" section, they acknowledge -- right there on their menu -- what we all know about eating breakfast out:

Let's be honest. Sometimes you can't go for the double fudge cake with extra whipped cream. Definitely not for breakfast, anyway. For those times we have low cal alternatives....This way you won't have to walk out with a guilt complex or sudden need to run a marathon.

Menus from Heaven

2008-11-12T15:23:00.000+02:00

I'm a food geek and a word geek. I just am.

So naturally, I could read menus all day long. But not just any menus -- I like the ones where someone artsy clearly took the time to craft colorful, exhilarating descriptions that make you realize that you're going to have to either come back (ideally with a lot of people for coverage) or order in again to truly experience the menu. Obviously, it only works if the restaurant's choices are original and creative as well; there's no exciting or original way to describe fried rice or a plain green salad...

This blog, then, is going to highlight a single dish every day, based solely on the menu's description. I'll contact the restaurant to ask for a photo, so we can all decide whether or not it lives up to the description...

For those who know me, you won't be surprised that I'll be using this quest to find dishes to recreate myself. Most of the most successful things I throw together in the kitchen are inspired by menus I grab on the way out of the place.

Feel free to send me suggestions -- especially if it's something you've ordered and you can send the picture along as well!